What a journey it has been till now, from been the good students in the school to average student in college to nearly failing in the class, epicness. Got my result two days back didn’t give a damm about it, didn’t even calculated my marks, I’m least bothered about it. one thing I have made sure I don’t believe the system, so I don’t give a damm about it. I don’t know now is it a good move or bad move, right thinking or wrong, but I feel that whatever it is I have the capacity to handle the outcome.
But on serious things in life, BazingaLabs story had a bitter ending, wasn’t dissatisfied by the money, but it was the respect and the work I had put on it didn’t came through. Been called as “Diamond broker” or “LIC agent” was kind of disturbing but happens it’s life. And I’m also entitled to take half the blame as I wasn’t clear enough in work. But end of the day wasn’t satisfied with money, was learned by me, so I could afford that.
One of the biggest learning was I couldn’t make things clear with Kakshil on the first place and expected him to be truthful and fair in negotiation, I know he’s a dick, but I was also bound by some principles so had to leave some amount of money. Sometimes I feel I’ll take a revenge of what he did to me but many times I feel that what’s the point in doing it, When I know things are gone to come back so no point just satisfying my ego, Wish him all the good luck in his life. I got my part which I deserved sometimes you should learn to let go things.
One of the major things happened is baa passed away, was a very horrifying experience, not because she died that was acceptable and we couldn’t do anything. But the drama by everyone and the fasad was very disturbing behavior. Feeling very sorry for Dada, I don’t know how hes managing. There is a sense of sorrow in me which says how the world is been structured, my Dada who once was a estime personality now completely helpless and bow have to rely on us for May small thing. But in a way I feel that he’s been very fortunate to fins people like my dad and sister who takes care of him so much. At the end of the day its life and everyone has to live through it.
Today is first march 2014, starting a new journey of improvement, not starting MongoDB nor stepping into hadoop world. Just improvement of myself, nothing more nothing less. Just step at a time, 1 percent change at a time. The mistakes I have been committing all this year’s was I wanted to change overnight, didn’t wanted to give time nor enough commitment. So I have decided this time that I want to take things slowly and steadily. But there is a feeling like I’m not doing enough,because sometimes I don’t feel it, I don’t see the change in me. Whatever it is I need to work patiently and persistently because there is no other way for success no other way then handwork.
One thing I need to understand is I’m not doing things for other or for people its for myself and only myself. So for that I need to remain very calm and compost, don’t get distracted by anything. If I can burst my ass for two months ie march and April than I feel I can take the risk of things I want to achieve. There is simply no hope from my aggregate so need to find other path in my life.
I really have no clue what to do now, because whatever I get into I feel that’s boring. And also don’t know why I love analyzing so much market or like reading about things which are so creative or innovative. I feel what I should is try to enhance this qualities. I’m starting to understand what my strong points and how I need to sell them.
I feel this is most definite period of my life as whichever choices I make will have atleast affect my next five year of coming time. I know I shouldn’t be skeptical about what’s coming about the future but need take care and measure things and than move ahead.
Sometimes will I’ll be ever sustain this lifestyle or this luxuries which I can afford now. Honestly if I don’t own a MacBook wouldn’t make a hell of difference, what I want to do is I should be satisfied in what I do in Ubuntu.